The Pure Joy of Sensual Relating - Abundance Full of Grace

Are you ready to experience the pure joy of sensual relating? Would you like to experience sexual relationships that unfold into multiple possibilities instead of leaving you with a sense of limitation and compromise?

Maybe you are already experiencing these things. Then again, maybe these very questions stir up a sense of hopelessness in you. If the latter is true, maybe this hopelessness stems from the effect of sexual trauma and your fear that sex will never be truly joyful for you. Or maybe you have just experienced a lot of disappointment in your sexual and romantic relationships. In either case, you are not alone. Romantic love and sexuality are huge topics of conversation. Much of the conversation betrays a kind of bewilderment on an individual and societal level. I sense that there is a lot of pain out there.

There are many cultural and religious messages that leave us feeling ashamed of our sexuality at the same time that media generated images of sexuality and romance permeate our lives. This has the impact of inducing a lot of sexual and emotional hunger, and, at the same time, a lot of guilt and shame. In addition, popular story lines played out in the media often send the message that romantic love is the answer to our loneliness and pain.

The end result?

We live our lives with a sense of deprivation and disappointment. Our disappointment is amplified because we spend our energy looking for solutions in all the wrong places. Worst of all, our shame and guilt keep us from incorporating our sexuality into our faith. We wind up excluding Divinity from the very places where Divinity is most needed. We deprive ourselves of the highest expression of our sexuality and we lose touch with the Divine, with ourselves, and with our partners. Put another way, sexual and romantic connections become a substitute for truly connecting with ourselves and the Divine and for the sexual and relational fulfillment that is the natural outcome of fully integrating God into our sexuality.

And it does not have to be this way.

Bottom line: Divine order liberates and it supports us in creating nourishing experiences in every area of our lives. No matter what the source of your hopelessness regarding your sexual and romantic connections, if you incorporate Divine order, it will give rise to more than a renewed sense of hope. Fulfillment will emerge as a realistic outcome. Grace will begin to operate in your sexual and romantic relationships.

Liberation begins with taking personal responsibility for choosing a different path. Only you can invite God into your bedroom! You are the only one who can decide to allow God to turn your disappointments and traumas into the playground of new opportunities. You alone have the power to align with Divine order.

I know that for a lot of people, the very notion of aligning sexuality and Divine order conjures images of spending the rest of your life having sex in the missionary position with the lights out. Does that sound like liberation to you? It sure doesn?t to me. Remember the questions I asked at the beginning of this article?

Are you ready to experience the pure joy of sensual relating? Would you like to experience sexual relationships that unfold into multiple possibilities instead of leaving you with a sense of limitation and compromise?

El Beso ? Parque Del Amor ? Lima, Peru

So, what is this Divine order I speak of and how can it lead you to joyful relating and a plethora of possibilities?

Well, let?s start with what Divine order does. I believe that the Divine plan includes abundance in every area of your life. I also believe sexual abundance manifests in the form of fulfilling, ecstatic sexual connections that delight the senses and deepen your connection with yourself, your partners, and the Divine. I believe Divine order calls us to be fully present and conscious during our love making so that we can have a more holistic experience.

And what about romance? I?d rather talk about intimacy. I believe Divine order eliminates the popular culture version of romance and creates the potential for real intimacy. You allow yourself to see and be seen authentically. You show up ready and willing to be vulnerable and truthful. When you do this, you wind up experiencing romantic moments in the context of abundant connection instead of trying to achieve connection by engaging in a romantic fantasy. The door opens for you and your partners to begin consciously co-creating positive experiences from a place of unlimited possibilities. Your relationships begin to blossom.

Lover's Embrace Cherry Tree ? Washington, D.C.

So, what does Divine order require? What is the first step?

Begin the process of joyful relating by cultivating inner well-being. Inner peace and harmony are the fruits of a profound and intimate connection with God and with yourself. Inner well-being is the empowering force that infuses sexuality and relationships with freedom and fulfillment.

Inner peace and harmony will never be achieved by turning your back on the traumas and disappointments of the past. It will never come about if you reject the parts of you that hold the raw unconscious material left behind by painful experiences. You cannot layer fulfillment on top of disappointment and sexual wounds. If you want to create abundance and fulfillment in your sexual and romantic relationships, you will have to face and confront the very source of your hopelessness. Otherwise, some part of you will always sabotage new opportunities to experience love and connection.

I know that some of the things that happened to you may have happened when you were very young. Or maybe someone assaulted you violently. Maybe someone abandoned you at a critical moment or taught you to be ashamed of your body. I realize that you may have been a victim to something horrible. I experienced things as a young person that shocked my senses and violated my soul. I understand your pain. And I hold a higher vision for you: joyful relating and ecstatic sexuality.

I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you want achieve that higher vision, you have to begin to live at choice. You have to eliminate the worst consequence of sexual violation and emotional wounds. If you want to have fulfillment instead of disappointment, you absolutely must give up the victim mentality and allow the traumas and wounds of the past to serve as a gateway to something far greater than you ever could have imagined. You must give up living in the effect and begin to consciously act as the causal agent in your own life.

In order to get to conscious choice, you are going to have to get close to the pain, disappointment, and fear that runs through your life right now, right here, in the present moment. How do you imagine you can experience all that your sexuality and intimate connections have to offer if you can?t be with your real feelings? Those feelings are stored in your subconscious and they have attached themselves to your sexuality and your capacity for intimate connection. If you want the joy of relating and sexual ecstasy, you are going to have to really feel these things and mourn them. Allow the pain to come through. As long as you wallpaper over your pain, you will never be able to harness it and unleash it as your ally in creating the life you want. Instead of hiding from your pain you can let it serve as the alchemical agent that brings about your transformation. When you integrate and resolve your pain it becomes a catalyst. It prompts you to make conscious changes and to confront the real legacy of your wounds.

Sexual and emotional wounds infuse your subconscious mind with lies. Without intervention, the very coping strategies that allowed you to survive the pain give rise to false beliefs and self-defeating habits that prevent you from receiving the love and nourishment you desire. For example, many people have learned to use painful moments as learning experiences. While this works really well in the moments after a painful experience, when it becomes a habit, it serves to orient your life towards hardship and adversity. Further, it often keeps you locked into passive aggression.

Passive aggression keeps you tied to things that don?t serve you and it distracts you from authentic opportunities to experience ecstasy and fulfillment. You do things you don?t want to do with people you don?t enjoy and then you flagellate yourself for your unhappiness and/or treat the other person aggressively. Passive aggressive strategies are the antithesis of what you need to cultivate. Passive aggression flows from a victim mentality and it is a key indication that you are out of alignment with Higher Self.

Divine alignment produces healing. It fosters conscious, proactive choices and practical action. If you want to experience the rich, luscious fruits of Divine alignment, you will have to commit to the healing I described above and you will have to commit to your own highest good. In order to foster your highest good, you will have to develop the kind of self awareness and personal responsibility that allows you to identify and cultivate present day opportunities for integrating joy and fulfillment.

The most obvious opportunity for experiencing the joy of relating can be found in your relationship with Higher Self (a.k.a God). When you develop and maintain your relationship with the Divine, you will create an inner refuge, an inner fountain of peace, harmony, and delight.

According to Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger, Higher Self is the resting ground of the deepest aspirations of the heart and soul.? They note that Higher Self also seeks to express those aspirations in this world. The resting place for your deepest aspirations, and the wisdom that knows how to express those aspirations, can only be found within. It isn?t out in the world somewhere. It isn?t the fruit of sexual pleasure or romantic drama. In fact, what I am saying is that it works exactly the opposite way. The highest expression of sexual pleasure and intimacy is the fruit of inner refuge. You will never be able to find satisfaction and refuge in the arms of your lover until you can find them within.

Once you know that your refuge lies within, that God is your refuge, you can begin to choose differently. From this position of tremendous strength, you can release your sexual and emotional hunger and begin to choose a new path. You can commit to spending time with people who bring out the very best in you rather than spending all your time trying to satisfy your hunger through unhealthy attachments. You can begin to learn a new set of relationship lessons, the lessons of joy, connection, peace, fulfillment, support, intimacy, and ecstasy. You will naturally begin to discern which relationships hold the potential for co-creating joy and which hold only the potential for co-creating more hardship and adversity. Discriminating wisdom will begin to flow. It will replace subconsciously stored emotions and suffering as the foundation of your choices.

Strength

As you begin to make better relationship choices, you will find it easier and easier to bring all of who you are to your sexual and romantic connections. You will be more and more present which will open the door to truly conscious, co-creative partnerships that are oriented towards the pure joy of relating. You and your partners will be able to consciously co-create from a field of many possibilities rather than embarking on a path that will leave both of you feeling confined. Your relationships will begin to take on a feeling of Grace and ease. Where Divine order provides the structure, Grace becomes available.

Reverend Rebecka Eggers is an Omnifaith Minister, a Co-Active Life Coach, and a Reiki Master. She is the midwife who partners with you to bring your dreams to life. She releases healing by drawing you into deep relationship with yourself and with the Divine. Through Abundance Full of Grace ? The Center for the Manifestation of Dreams, Reverend Rebecka partners with you to create a safe space to encounter and fulfill your authentic life purpose.

Click here to book a session.

Click here to learn how to connect with Rebecka.

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